Hallucinogenics And Candy

ATTENTION! everybody focus!

Fri, 13 Aug 2004 12:23:01 GMT

Add my new livejournal please
candy_core

Thanks..add me and i will add you back

xx

Must Read...You'll Laugh..I Swear!!!!

Wed, 11 Aug 2004 11:40:16 GMT

THIS IS FOR ALL YOU STUPID SCENE ASSHOLES

The Typical Scene Boy:

Hi my name is Stupid Fucking Poser. I'm really insecure so I'm gonna dye my hair black and grow it long so it covers my face because I'm so fucking ugly that no one would like me if it wasn't hidden. And I love following the crowd so I buy girl jeans that don't fit my disgusting body and my small dick is pressed tight against the zipper for all the 14 year old girls to see. God I’m SO SPECIAL AND UNIQUE.

My best friend is my flat iron and pomade.
I don’t eat carbs but I like The Faint and underage drinking.
My favorite activity is shopping for Converse and trying not to let my pretend girlfriend know that I’m a fucking faggot.

And every time I go to clubs I have to be REALLY wasted and completely drunk because I secretly have NO personality and all my friends really HATE ME because all I ever do it make out with random ugly kids who are really 15 but somehow got into the club.. and of course I make out with boys that look EXACTLY like me because its cool to pretend I’m something I’m not. When I go to Club 82, I pay $8 to sit outside of a patio and smoke other people’s cigarettes and talk shit about everyone that has their back turned to me.

When I finally decide to dance to all those lame 80’s songs, I try to dance but really I'm just having a fucking seizure to look cool, even though it never works. I swing my arms in the air and shuffle my feet like I have fucking Parkinson’s.. and I always pick the dumbest sluttiest girl to grind my crotch against. HEHE.

Sound familiar?

Yeah kill yourself before someone else does.

The Typical Scene Girl:

Hey everyone, is my hair dyed 5 different colors and cut at different angles? Are you sure my neon plastic earrings match my high heels and bra straps because I would CRY if I didn’t fit in with every other whore I know. Should we only talk about boys and clothes and stuff? LIKE OMG ok.

I like vertical stripes and pony tails. I love leg warmers and anything asymmetrical. I wear shirts with only one sleeve and poke-dot mini skirts so you can see my vagina when I try and dance to the Cure.

Sometimes I’ll dye my hair one bright color in front or in the back so you notice me more but really I’m just trying to look cool so everyone stares and points. Oh wait it doesn't work because I’m just a stupid cunt with no style. *twirls hair*

And when I date guys or make out with them: they HAVE to wear eyeliner and tight t-shirts. They HAVE to have more then 1000 friends on My Space and drive a car past the year 2000 because that’s all that matters. No one cares about feelings, just fuck me in my plastic asshole and tell me how cute I am when my lipstick rubs off on your penis. *pops gum*

I live in Orange County and I’m still in high school but somehow I got a fake ID so I’m SO awesome!! My favorite hang out is Club Bang where I can dance in front of all my internet friends and show how dumb I am. I’m better then everyone else because I know the lyrics to EVERY retarded song played and I can even shake it like one of those trolls in a Lil’ Jon music video.

But whatever, I’ll just show my tits and everyone will be ok.

*stolen from Jeffree Starr,World Famous Asshole And A Fucking Legend <3

::::Fuck you cunt, Im Amazing::::

Tue, 10 Aug 2004 02:50:05 GMT

I'm a girl who is trapped in time,A girl who is slowly dissapearing,Falling away into the distant background. Someday i will leave,and you wont even relise im missing.

Im a girl in a picture posted on some ego boosting stupid website,Photoshopped and edited so you wont see the truth,you wont see me.Everytime you look at the picture, maybe you'll remember who she was,But with everyday that goes by, the smiles and pretty blue eyes will slowly fade,and eventually you wont remember anything.

And if i was to fall,To give into the teen suicide drama that swallows a teens life,I cant help but wonder will anyone save me? Would any of you care enough to keep me alive.But I know that YES they would, maybe not because they love me that much that they would sacrifice themselves to keep me alive, but because its the right thing to do.This isnt real caring.It's you not wanting to live with the guilt,that suicide took place, and you turned your back on it.

And i just remembered..I dont give a fuck.

Everything about me is real...and im perfect.

Fuck you Bitch..(you know who you are)
Im amazing.

Fuck You..I probably hate you anyway.

Mon, 09 Aug 2004 05:07:12 GMT

1-Dont tell me that i have a pretty face that im ruining with make-up and piercings.
2-Dont tell me that i need to wear colour.
3-Dont tell me you know how i feel.
4-Dont pretend that you like me.
5-Dont attempt to be my friend.
6-Dont ask me for favours.
7-Dont tell me it makes you sad to see what i do to myself.
8-Dont expect me to care about how you feel.
9-Dont approach me in public.
10-I dont want to hear about how you want to kill yourself.
11-I dont care that you think Marilyn Manson is god.
12-No, I dont want to see that movie with you.
13-Do it yourself.
14-Stop telling me everthing I dont care about.
15-Dont lie to me.
16-Do all the drugs you want, I dont give a shit.
17-Get some fucking morals.
18-Kill yourself, and stop your suicide lies.
19-No, we dont "fit" and arent "meant for each other"
20-Do..Be a real person.

*BANG*

Please shut the fuck up.

*BANG*

Yes, I do mean it.

*BANG*

Im still amazing, not matter how hard you try to tell me im not.

*BANG*

Have you figured it out yet?...cunt.

Lets not forget this is the INTERNET.This is just an idea but maybe some of you should sign off msn,look out into the REAL world (where people aren't edited and photoshopped) Then relise that you wont have your INTERNET FAKE PERSONAS to tell you how cool you are because you edited a picture of you with your shirt off.

Im the same online and off, and whats that?? SO ARE YOU! *wrong*
Dont fucking talk to me unless your a real person.

-Dont get offended...its just a website-

I Would Walk 500 Miles..(who am i kidding..no i wouldnt)

Thu, 05 Aug 2004 02:56:36 GMT

Well yesterday was crumby, i woke up in probably one of the worst depressed states ive had for awhile,but i pulled through fine i guess you could say.I think the thing thats more troubling is that i had no reason to be depressed everything is prety much okay.Sure there are a couple of things that could be better, but i guess im just going to have to make do for now.

Ive been dreaming a lot lately, pleasant little dreams about nice things,opposed to what i usually dream.

22 days until im 18 *grin*

Ive been getting into some really sad and lame emo/punk lately, its annoying my metalhead housemates extremely, but i dont mind, i have a feeling thats why the music is so appealing.

xxxx

And You Might Its Self Destructive..

Tue, 03 Aug 2004 04:55:01 GMT

Another day i didnt go to school, reasons i cant be bothered explaining.Im tired again, I went to bed at 9pm last night and woke up at 7am, now its almost 3pm and i can barely keep my eyes open.

Im in another bad mood, im losing interest in conversation, im over everything, all i want to do is hide away in my room all day, its so unlike me to be so lifeless.

I was invited to a party on Saturday night, not sure if im going to go, I dont really know the people who will be going,and the person who invited me goes to my school, i dislike socialising with people from school, Thats probably why i only have one friend there that i actually bother with.

Still Miss certain people, Still sad,pathetic and depressed as all fuck..

*blah*

xxx

Leave..

Fri, 30 Jul 2004 17:47:27 GMT

I dont know whats happening and im not entirely sure i want to.My existence has turned into a void of nothingness,blank and unlively.There are so many other things i could be doing, yet i waste time, on nothing.Ive become lazy,self indulgent and fat.I sit and make fun of others when i am possibly worse then they are.I really am, not a nice person.

My friends like to talk up how great i am, and look to me as a source, an example.When I have done terrible things, im rude, and am in constant denial about who I am.I lie and I cheat to make myself more appealing to others.I lie to both of my parents constantly, although i have managed to lose my father forever as a cause.

I am not proud of the things i do, yet i fall further and further into this rut.Im confused and cant find any other way out besides more lies,which confuse me even more.

Im trying so hard not to go back to doing the things i use to, but as self damaging as it was I was no where near as confused as I am now, feeling like theres nothing.

I regret everything that ive done to people,a simple apology will not help the situation by any means, there is nothing i can do to get the one person back in my life that i depended on for so much, I miss him and i love him more then anything else I have.He's the reason im here, the reason im alive, yet I cant be with him.
Whinging here solves nothing, and although i know he wont read this, I guess its something i have to say one way or another..

I Love My Dad.

So Motherfucking Glamourous!

Thu, 29 Jul 2004 05:20:04 GMT

Well, i missed school, again..surprise sur-fucking-prise.We had a free first and second period so didnt have to go in until about 10-30 we we're meant to get the train at around 10-16 kat walks in my room at 10-10 to a half dead sara laying down.I did attempt to get ready but i have the flu and its a total fuckhead.I think i have a chest infection or something.My lungs are kinda screwed.

Im starting to miss particular people this week, Its hard for me to understand why im missing them considering the situation, but its hurting not being able to be with them.

Ive spent my day downloading a whole lot of bullshit, i wish kat would wake up, i need a friend, or a hug..or something..

xxx

mmm VILLE drool

Wed, 28 Jul 2004 14:19:47 GMT

Ville Hermanni Valo from HIM. The voice of an angel
and looks to match. One things for sure, you'd
never get bored with Ville around ;)

Which Gothic Guy is for You?
brought to you by Quizilla

We're all doomed damn it!

Wed, 28 Jul 2004 07:40:45 GMT

Haha well today was boring as all fuck, I went to school for about 5 minutes the came home, did a little shopping, came on the net, watched some t.v..came back online..hahah yeh thats my day.

for some reason im depressed as all fuck..

*sigh*

xxx

Please Excuse Her For The Day,Its Just The Way The Medication Makes Her.

Mon, 26 Jul 2004 08:18:30 GMT

I went to bed at 8-30 last night and woke up at 10-30, by the time i sat around on my ass, then eventually got ready and went to school, i made it to last period.I had to meet my mum after school to grab some shit off her, so i did that, then kat and I went over to her mums to say howdy,we watched her brothers wedding video ^_^.Then came home at around 5ish..i had chicken soup..watched jerry springer..came on msn.

I heard these girls having a conversation about me and Kat in class today, they dont know how good my hearing *grin* Then i heard them say that "the one with the red hair is the weird one"...hmm im the one with red hair.The strange thing is i dont even know their names yet they seem to know me..assholes.

xxx

SeX dRuGs AnD rOcK n RoLl

Sun, 25 Jul 2004 09:37:04 GMT

well last night was fun, it was saturday, i was bored, and things arent going right so of course im going to drink..like usually.Except for once i found my limit I drank..and drank and drank some fucking more,then took some _____________
Its not a bad thing and im meant to have them just not that many and certainly not with alcohol.So i threw up..a lot and passed out.

I woke up at about 2am wanting to drink more, but someone hid it and i couldnt fucking find it...so fucking pissed off.

Ive been listening to 70s music and Nirvana today, i feel so dirty, like im some nasty hippy in need of a shower.

I had one this morning..time for another.

xxx

The Next Installment,

Thu, 22 Jul 2004 13:12:40 GMT

I Have-

Red Hair,
Blue eyes,
No common sense,
One Brother and one sister i dont see often enough,
two flatmates,
One Cat named Zimmy,
Taste,Style and Class (hahah)
Minimal people i would call my friends,
A mobile phone,
A perverted mind,
An addiction to "the Real World",
No idea what im going to do once i finish school,
A desire to be more then i know i ever will be,
Dreams of travelling the world,
A crush,
Love for the mother i hate most of the time,
Hunger pains,
The nothing else to say, but i wont stop talking,
A comfy bedroom, safe and secure,

Nothing worth talking about..

xXx

If You Ever Cared At All...

Wed, 21 Jul 2004 15:06:16 GMT

I-
Am selfish,discontented and intense.
Have no direction in life.
like the colour pink.
adore my close friends, even though i rarely show it.
Probably lie to you more then i tell the truth.
Am pathetic in that i like hugs and kisses and holding hands.
Never let relationships last.
Am addicted to Tropical fruit juice.
Think that we should be closer then what we are.
Like the comfort i find in my home environment.
Wont do things i dont want to.
Am moody, foul mouthed, and forceful.
Was born in the wrong year (by about ten years)
Find it hard to say "I Love You"
Have had my heart stolen, broken, and mended.
Know what you think about me (atleast i think i do) (Im wrong)
Lost my virginity at 16.
Had the cliche "Bad Childhood"
Cry more then i let you know.
Want To Be In Love.
Know im ugly and i know you see it too.
Im afraid of the dark..still.
Cried the first day my dad left, i still cry now because he's left me again.
Own c.ds that i can listen to over and over again without them getting boring.
Adore Brian Molko.
Like to drink.
Have been known to take drugs.
Am a clinically certified "manic depression"
Im the youngest child.
Am hell in high heels.
Like Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love even though you dont.
Tried to kill myself in December.
Love Katrina, she is my closest friend..thank you
Hate losing people I Love.
Am confused about my sexuality.
Remember when my mum said she wished she never had me
Am Angry,Mopey,Pathetic and Disillusioned when it comes to most things.
Hate the way you make me feel.
Like lipstick.
Can't wait to have kiddies..one day..not now.
Want to see the murderdolls in concert.
Must meet Acey Slade.
Think im going to be bald by 30.
Believe in destiny.
Like to fall asleep in his arms.
Find dancing to be the best anti depressant.
Like the girls from Cherryfuck magazine..yeaaaah bitches!
Am a motherfucking rockstar!
Wont trust you, so dont even attempt it.
Am against everything you stand for.
Hate "rebels".
Am A Rebel.
Probably dont find you important.
Will not turn out like my mother.
Resent the day my mum remarried.
Hate the man that use to bash my mum and sister.
Remember the nights i slept in parks because my mum was too afraid to go home.
Tried to kill my cousin when i was ten.
Almost died when i was 12.
Get to emotional over little things.

Thats it for tonight.

+Pussy Liquor+

Tue, 20 Jul 2004 05:32:00 GMT

Sooo bored, I woke up at 2pm..so much for school ^_^.Theres really nothing to do today except for all the things ive been putting off for so long.And that probably wont get done today either.

I went to school yesterday and lasted one period before i left, i think as soon as we walked in the school someone yelled out "freaks" and you know what?
FUCK YOU ALL BECAUSE IM AMAZING!!

tootles.

Answer Me Bitches!!!!!

Mon, 19 Jul 2004 09:46:02 GMT

If you and I were alone in a room right now, what would we be doing?

+Get Pierced Baby+

Thu, 15 Jul 2004 10:51:31 GMT

Well we went to Broadmeadow today to get Kat pierced, she was meant to get both sides of her nose done but she only got one and her lip.She was fairly wasted by the time she got there so was I, but that meant i could talked to Randy and Con a lot more...hmm things actually went a lot better today then they did before..maybe i jumped to conclusions??

Hmm school starts again on Monday *sigh* and i have no idea how im going to fit everything together, my life is getting busy and i dont like that.Miss lazy doesn't like stress.

I should be getting both sides of my lip pierced next week and dying my hair back to black, the bleaching and pink-a-nizing is destroying my hair, so its back to black and grow it out...like i always say.

Tootles Chickens!!

xXx

-Sedated Diva-

Mon, 12 Jul 2004 15:07:54 GMT

Ahh i havent updated this for awhile, not that anyone bothers to read it but well imma do it anyway.I have anew piercing its on the right side of my lip...i dont think im going to keep it, it feels strange.I just cleaned up my room cause my mumsy is bringing up my old double bed mattress, that they broke the bed that it belonged to *sigh* they shall just have to buy me a new one.

Well ive been in newcastle for three days or something like that with my boy, who is still my boy, hopefully this will go better then anything else ive ever attempted.Probably not though, imma fuck this up like everything else..

Optimisstic Me.

xXx

Mon, 05 Jul 2004 11:39:20 GMT

Well everythings pretty much boring, what great holidays im going to have.I stay up all night and then sleep all day to just repeat everything again even though it bored the shit out of me..makes sense right?

Ugh well Randal's coming back from Coffs on thursday or friday, not to sure which day yet, *excited* well excited and ugh nervous at the same time..but moving right along...

im bored again..everything is so boring.My mums coming up tomorrow to pick up my skirt which she has to fix..and my shoes..that shes putting into fix because I snapped the heel on HER driveway because of where SHE parked the car...okay so maybe it was my fault but still...mum will fix them...

um yeah thats it.

xxx

erm..yes

Wed, 30 Jun 2004 22:16:41 GMT

hmmm its 8-11am i havent been to sleep yet and im not entirely sure when and if i am.I should really be at school today but i cant be fucked so i declare this school holidays *woot*. Um hmmm tomorrow night im meant to be going to a party OR seeing Brendan at Blink..I hate Blink so much already and ive only been once.So i think the party options going to win.

Im in a fairly good mood this morning for about three reasons, none of which i really want to mention.But they are all so good..they make me feel all warm and fuzzy.

Okay well thats about it from me.

xxx

The Sickness

Mon, 28 Jun 2004 04:50:25 GMT

Well today has been completely crap, i woke up in one of the worst moods.I got up around 11 and went to centrewank with Weenish,the line was out the door and i already felt like crap so standing around in a line for three hours would only piss me off further.I talked Kat into leaving so we came home,sat around for a bit and then went to hungry jacks for a grilled chicken burger thing, and a sundae...now i feel completely sick, my head hurts, i have a blocked nose..and i keep coughing and sneezing..fuck the flu.

and this is my official thank you to *Josh* for the lovely conversation we had on saturday night, i wasnt in the best mood but you made me smile..hehe im not sure if you'll read this, and if you do...i feel silly.

xxx.

Sun, 27 Jun 2004 19:00:37 GMT

Last Cigarette: Can't Remember
Last Kiss: Friday Night
Last Cry: Friday Night
Last Library Book Checked Out: Pandora-Anne rice
Last Movie Seen In a Theatre: I cant remember But i did go with Cooper And Pierce
Last Book Read: People Might Hear You-Robin Klein
Last Cuss Word Uttered: Cunt
Last Beverage Drank: coffee
Last Food Consumed: Noodles
Last Phone Call: Randal
Last TV Show Watched: I wathced 8 mile on t.v
Last Time Showered: Tonight
Last Shoes Worn: Knee high boots
Last CD Played: Placebo
Last Soda Drank:Coke
Last Thing Written: "coke"
Last Key Used: E
Last Words Spoken: "goodnight"
Last Sleep: Last night
Last IM: ahh not sure
Last Ice Cream Eaten: Vanilla
Last Time Wanting to Die: Few Months ago
Last Lipstick: Pink
Last Time Dancing:Friday night
Last Show Attended: Placebo
Last Big Car Ride: awhile ago
Last thing you smelled: coffee
Last Annoyance: constantly
Last Disappointment: Friday night
Last Time Scolded: Saturday morning
Last Shirt Worn: "Team Satan"
Last Web Site Visited: Errm livejournal
Last song you listened to: Cant stop smoking-Alien Sex Fiend
Last movie you watched: 8 mile
Watch it with anyone?: No
Last time you went to the mall: Ummm thursday
Last person you wished you could "do": Pffft
Last person you missed: Brendon *sigh*
Last CD you Bought: eeek i havent bought one for awhile
Last beautiful thing you saw: My Cat sleeping
Last lyric stuck in your head: "I know what to do and i do it well"

+Drug Me+

Sun, 27 Jun 2004 10:53:50 GMT

Ugh! so bored, theres fuck all to do, i just cleaned my room, which is always exciting..not.Today i did nothing i sat at home on msn...great life aye?

I have school tomorrow which means i have to deal with the rumours that apparently started on thrusday when i left the school in an ambulance..class and style all the way.Erm all jokes aside apparently there drug overdose and suicide rumours..if i was going to do either of those things i sure as hell wouldnt do them at school.

Meh sigh...nothing

xxx

Fuck You. Die. Bastard.

Sat, 26 Jun 2004 02:14:15 GMT

Well i went to Blink, the night seemed to be going okay, on the way down on the train, we played a silly little "game" to see who could finish a bottle of passion pop first *shudder* its possibly one of the foulest things ive tasted in my life, but it hits ya.So everything was good, we we're all pretty wasted by the time we got to Blink.SO i saw some people i knew but got rather depressed so drank more..always a good idea..not.
So i was pretty much gone, the bouncer im pretty sure was trying to hit on me..so i ran back into the club in search of my mates..no luck.SO i sat with this random bunch of Insane Clown Posse fans, and within half an hour had my tongue down some guys throat..great fucking work Sara.All the time i was looking for Brandon..i really thought he was going..apparently not though.After more drinking and getting even more so depressed my mates said it was time to leave.So we made the 1-47 train home...we got there i sat down and burst into tears for the next 2 hours all over a guy thats hurt me twice now...and i'll probably cry again..ahh the patheticness of me.

Tue, 22 Jun 2004 02:40:00 GMT

Well i went to school, despite trying to use all the excuses in the world to Weenish as to why i shouldn't go.But it was only one period of E.E.C.So i went to school, did the work i was meant to.Then went shopping with Weenish.I dont have any money on tuesday so Weenish bought me this Red and Black Tartan,Pleated skirt.I have to pay her back on Tuesday when i get paid.So after shopping we started to walk home and on the way this druggo chick was staring at me so i stared back then shook my head, and laughed.Then she started with the whole "come back here and say something" bullshit, So many people seem to have smart ass remarks to make, lucky for them im generally to self involved to be listening to anyone else but myself.

Some person just added me to msn they seem to know a lot about me, yet when i ask who they are they say "you dont know me", Honestly its not a day to play games, Im hoping they go away before i get grumpy.

xxx.